do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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