I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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