Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
