ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
