I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
