Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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