take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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