he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
