Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
