So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
