I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
