East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
