I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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