Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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