so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
