The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
