1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I forget how to act sober
Randomize