we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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