i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
