who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
