That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize