no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
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