There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
