i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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