I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Randomize
