I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
