What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
