I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
