Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
The air was thick with penises
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
