ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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