Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
