ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
