i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
