she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Randomize
