Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
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