Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
