Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
