just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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