If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
