my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Randomize
