Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Randomize