We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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