Swine flu. Run for my life!
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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