I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
