It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
