i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
