wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
NoShamevember. You game?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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