I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
