Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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