I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Randomize
