Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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