i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize