someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
