I'm really into asian looking animals
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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