dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
This couple is walking their pig around campus
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
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