i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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