Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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