I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
it's great music for shaving your balls
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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