what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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